Do Bartenders Flirt With Everyone?

do bartenders flirt with everyone
Joe | Last Updated: August 28, 2023
I'm Joe, a veteran bartender with over a decade in the industry and a burning passion for mixing drinks.

So you’ve had an encounter with a bartender that’s left you feeling special, but now you’re wondering if this happens to everyone and if perhaps you’re not so special after all.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

As someone that’s spent over a decade in the bartending industry, I know firsthand that this is a question that many people find themselves wondering, and rightly so.

Some people believe that bartenders are naturally flirtatious whilst others believe it’s all part of their job to be overly friendly and engaging with their customers.

Today, we’re going to answer the age-old question “do bartenders flirt with everyone?” to help you better understand whether the bartender is actually interested in you or they’re just trying to earn a generous tip.

In short, no, bartenders DO NOT flirt with everyone. Whilst every bartender has a different style and approach to serving customers, they’re generally not flirtatious with everyone. Oftentimes, people confuse being friendly and attentive with flirting and therefore get the wrong impression when dealing with bartenders.

Let’s get into it…

Do Bartenders Flirt With Everyone?

It’s difficult to say whether bartenders flirt with everyone or not because all bartenders are different and have varied approaches and personalities.

In my experience, bartenders don’t flirt with everyone and will only flirt with customers that they find attractive and engaging. This can vary depending on the bartender, but it’s important to remember that it’s their job to be friendly with customers.

Some customers can think that a bartender is flirting with them when in reality they are just being friendly and doing their job.

do bartenders flirt with everyone

It’s a bartender’s responsibility to create a fun atmosphere for the establishment, so it’s common for them to be very chatty and attentive as this helps customers feel welcomed.

Not only does this help with attracting repeat customers which is good for business, but it helps build the reputation of the bar so new people come to see what it’s all about.

Why Do Bartenders Flirt With Customers?

Whilst it’s true that bartenders don’t flirt with everyone, they certainly DO flirt with customers that they find attractive.

Working as a bartender is a great way to connect with new people and meet new friends as well as romantic partners.

Let’s look at some of the reasons why bartenders flirt with customers.

To get laid

Let’s not beat around the bush, one of the main reasons why bartenders flirt with customers they find attractive is to get laid.

Bartenders that work in busy bars meet new people every night, so it’s the perfect opportunity for them to practice their pick-up skills and try to get lucky.

The bar is a perfect place to do this, and being the bartender puts them in a position of authority that some people find attractive – strengthening their odds of getting laid.

Make more tips

Another reason why the bartender may be flirting with you is to encourage you to come to the bar more often and order drinks in hopes that you’ll leave them a juicy tip.

Earning tips is a HUGE part of a bartender’s role, and those that are attractive and have some good game will use flirting to their advantage to try and earn more money.

It’s a smart, yet cunning way for them to increase their earnings and works like a charm for those that can flirt effortlessly.

However, it’s important to note that not all bartenders flirt with customers to try and earn more money, and it’s not fair to assume that this is their only motivation.

Try to use your best judgment here to suss-out what the intentions of the bartender really are, as they may be genuinely interested in you and not looking for a tip at all.

Just being friendly

It’s also highly likely that the bartender is just being friendly and attentive to you in order to create a better atmosphere for the establishment.

Bartending is in the hospitality industry, which is all about providing exceptional customer service and creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

People often overlook this and assume that the bartender has some ulterior motive when in many cases they don’t.

The bartender may be flirting with you simply to make you feel welcome and to create a sense of connection so that you have a positive experience.

Do You Have To Flirt As A Bartender?

It’s certainly NOT a requirement for bartenders to flirt with customers and they will only do so if they want to, with many bartenders choosing not to flirt with customers at all.

There are no interview questions to identify how good you are at flirting before you apply for the role, but it’s true that bar managers may hire the most attractive bartenders to help with bringing in customers.

Flirting all comes down to personal preference, and if the bartenders finds a customer attractive then they may try their luck if they’re feeling up to it.

Some bartenders are more outgoing and flirtatious than others, it’s going to depend on the type of establishment you’re in as well as the location as to whether the bartender flirts with you.

If you’re in a high-end, relaxed restaurant, it’s less likely that the bartender will flirt with you as opposed to being in a nightclub setting.

Is My Bartender Flirting?

It can be difficult to tell whether the bartender is flirting with you or if they’re simply being friendly to create a welcoming atmosphere.

That said, you can usually tell by their body language and how much attention they pay to you when you’re at the bar.

If the bartender seems to be going out of their way to serve and speak with you then this could be a sign that they are flirting with you.

do bartenders flirt with everyone
Photo by Tim Douglas

Flirting can often be identified through non-verbal cues in body language such as strong eye contact, smiling, and leaning in closer than they do with other customers.

Another sign to look out for is if the bartender is making jokes and having playful banter with you, or perhaps they’re poking fun at you in a friendly way.

Bartenders may even physically touch you on the arm or hand whilst handing you a drink. If the bartender lightly touches you or shows any of the above signs then they certainly could be flirting with you.

It’s important to remember that all bartenders are different and have unique ways of serving customers and earning money.

If you’re unsure, try communicating openly with them, or if you’re interested pay them a compliment and see how they react.

>>Read more: why are bartenders so rude?

Final Thoughts

I hope this post has helped provide clarity on how bartenders flirt with customers and you now have a clear answer to “do bartenders flirt with everyone?”

Not all bartenders will flirt with you, and they certainly don’t flirt with everyone. In fact, some bartenders decide not to flirt with any customers as they don’t want it to distract them from work.

On the other hand, there are a lot of bartenders out there that regularly flirt with customers, whether it’s to earn more money in tips or to try and meet a romantic partner.

If you think the bartender is flirting with you then I advise you to keep a lookout for the signs we’ve mentioned above, and if you’re not sure, simply ask them or pay them a compliment to catch their vibe.

Thanks for reading this post and I’ll catch you in the next one!