Do Bartenders Cheat? (A Truthful Guide)

do bartenders cheat
Joe | Last Updated: May 22, 2023
I'm Joe, a veteran bartender with over a decade in the industry and a burning passion for mixing drinks.

The life of a bartender can be a hectic one at times. They often work late into the early hours of the morning and are incredibly busy on weekends, leaving little time to spend with their loved ones and making the role demanding both personally and physically.

This can put a lot of stress and pressure on their family life and relationships, as can working in an environment that is surrounded by alcohol and the opposite sex.

Stress, high pressure, and temptation are all things that bartenders have to deal with on a regular basis, sometimes leading to situations that would get them in trouble with their significant other.

In this post, we’re going to answer a question that often comes up when discussing bartenders and how they manage a relationship whilst in the role. “Do bartenders cheat?”

YES, it’s true that many bartenders do cheat, but this CAN NOT be said for all bartenders and depends on the individual and their relationship. I’ve known some bartenders to cheat, but I’ve also known many to stay faithful to their partners.

Let’s take a closer look…

Are Bartenders More Likely To Cheat?

According to the American Psychological Association, around 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and while the reasons for this vary, career choice can certainly be a factor.

If you’re reading this article then it’s likely you’ve noticed some of the signs of a cheating partner. Maybe they are not coming home until well after their shift ends? Or perhaps they suddenly have a second phone for work reasons?

These could be signs that your partner is up to no good, but they are not certainties. If your partner is showing reasons to be concerned about cheating then this should absolutely be addressed.

do bartenders cheat
Photo by cottonbro studio

However, being in a relationship with a bartender is tough and puts a lot of strain on relationships from both sides. Knowing your partner is working in a busy, fun, and lively bar can make people more anxious than if they were to work an office job.

Keeping this in mind is important when in a relationship with a bartender as your partner may well not be cheating and it may be you that’s overly concerned.

But whilst there is no hard evidence that indicates why bartenders ARE more likely to cheat and have a tough time staying in their relationship, it’s not difficult to hazard a guess.

>> Read more: how to pick up a bartender

Why Are Bartenders More Likely To Cheat?

There are a number of reasons why bartenders are more likely to cheat on their partners, some to do with the job and some completely unrelated.

Let’s take a look at some of the most common reasons why bartenders cheat on their partners:


Working in a fun, lively, and intoxicating environment can lead people astray very quickly if don’t have much self-control. The lifestyle of a bartender is fast-paced, exciting, and fuelled by fun (in some bars, not all!).

Bars are designed so that people have the best time possible. Loud music, cheap drinks, and lots of people looking to turn up and party, but some bars are much calmer than others.

Nevertheless, the environment can quickly suck bartenders in and lead them to make decisions that they would not ordinarily make, including cheating.


Another BIG reason why bartenders cheat is due to being surrounded by alcohol at work.

Some bars allow their staff to drink on shift which can be great for some, allowing them to loosen up and communicate better with customers, but terrible for others that fall down a bad path and make bad decisions.

This all comes down to the bartender and their relationship with alcohol. Most states and bars don’t allow drinking on the job, but the ones that do are more likely to employ cheating bartenders.


Being surrounded by drunk punters that like to flirt with bartenders can get the better of some people and make it more likely that they will cheat.

Inhibitions go out the window and punters and bartenders become a lot more flirtatious when they’ve had a drink, so if the bartender doesn’t have willpower and self-control this could lead to cheating.

The temptation whilst working as a bartender is probably the biggest factor why some bartenders cheat.

There’s an abundance of attractive people looking to party in bars every single night, and being surrounded by these people can make it hard for some bartenders to remain faithful.

Is It Hard Dating A Bartender?

Dating a bartender is VERY HARD. I know, because I’ve done it and completely understand why it’s more difficult dating a bartender than people in other professions.

Knowing that your partner is working in a busy bar, surrounded by alcohol and beautiful people can put a lot of strain on relationships, for the reasons set out above.

But it’s important to remember that your own mental image of your partner’s work environment is often very wrong. You may think that they’re chatting with beautiful women or handsome men, but they’re probably washing dishes or cleaning floors.

This is why transparency and trust are so important in relationships. Bartenders often work unsociable hours and need downtime when they are not at work to rest and recover which can be hard when dating a new person.

People expect bartenders to be that fun, outgoing, and amped-up person all of the time but this is really not the case. They need quiet time too, just like any in any profession.

Coming home late every night can be stressful and taxing on bartenders, as well as trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and social life as well as balance a relationship.

It’s hard. But if you think that they are the right person and you can make it work, it may just well be worth it to find happiness.

Do Bartenders Hook Up A Lot?

Bartenders hook up a lot less than you might think. Whilst it looks like an exhilarating role from the outside, it’s actually VERY demanding and requires a lot of hard work, leaving little time for flirting with customers.

Often the last thing a bartender wants to do when they finish their shift is to go out and continue the party trying to hook up with strangers, especially as they get older and prefer a peaceful life.

On the other hand, some younger bartenders DO hook up quite a lot, and they enjoy the role because of the opportunities they have to meet new people.

It really depends on the bartender and the way they are. Some are outgoing, extraverted, and excellent at smooth talking so these naturally hook up more than others.

Whereas some bartenders are older, more professional, and work in a different type of bar, maybe in a gold club, therefore, they don’t get as many opportunities to do so.

>> Read more: Are female bartenders easy?

Most Bartenders Don’t Cheat!

This article may seem like bartenders are hooking up left, right, and center, but it’s usually not the case. Yes, some young and handsome bartenders certainly do cheat and hook up with lots of people, but this is the minority in most bars.

Bartenders that are older, married, or have kids for example may work the job because of their love for music and the shift patterns work better for them.

I’ve worked in many bars over the years and only recall a handful of bartenders that would hook up regularly with punters, and didn’t meet a single one that I was aware of that cheated on their partner.

do bartenders cheat
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

In fact, most of the bartenders I worked with would rush out of the door to get home to their partners and keep their relationships.

It’s totally understandable to be worried about a partner cheating if they work as a bartender, but in most cases, this is because the image you have in your head of the bar and how they are at work is totally different from how it is in reality.

Final Thoughts

I hope this post has helped clear some things up about bartenders and how they manage relationships, as well as provide you with a clear answer to “do bartenders cheat?”

It’s undeniable that some bartenders cheat on their partners, but most DO NOT. Bartenders that are young, handsome, and enjoy the lifestyle may be more likely to cheat due to their environment.

However, the establishment that they work in plays a role too, as it’s much more unlikely that a bartender will cheat if they work in a run-down bar in Kansas for example.

I’ve dated bartenders and have been a bartender for many years myself. My best advice would be to try not to worry, and if you are concerned look out for tell-tale signs that your partner may be cheating.

The job may seem like the perfect place to cheat but often this isn’t the case, and many bartenders don’t have he energy to be trying to hook up with multiple people due to how demanding the job is.

I hope this article has helped provide some clarity.

See you in the next one.